February and yellow skies

I love February. It's such an unusual month. And it is the hardest to pronounce.
Do they have yellow skies in February? Maybe in April or May.... during the Kalboishakhis.I love yellow skies like crazy. I remember a wonderful wonderful evening, when all the trees in our little neighbourhood were being trimmed, and there were heaps and heaps of green leaves scattered all over the place. I was cycling amidst these fallen leaves and there was a great big yellow sky above me. I remember stopping to tell someone how much I loved it, right there and then.
I love monsoon. I wish it was monsoon in February. But then again, I don't know. There wouldn't be that excitement of putting on the fan, after a really long time. Or that spring is here feeling. That exam-morning feeling. There's something special about that.

Sometimes when I wake up, I wish I could see trees, a lake and lots of sunshine. But I never want to go back there now. It wouldn't be the same. But I still keep wishing. And sometimes, when I'm bleary eyed, and not-quite-awake, I hear the pots and pans clanging in Jaya didis bari and Baba reading the newspaper aloud in the "nook" and I see the trees, the lake, the sunshine. Sometimes I even hear that goddamn kokeel. But it's just a cheel. Screeching atop my air conditioner vent...and a concrete jungle and an empty swimming pool that lies beyond my grill-less window.

Maybe years later, I'll hear that cheel, I'll hear a train's whistle...I'll see a foggy blue sky. But as of now...I see and hear only these. And wish for yellow skies, monsoon and February.

I couldn't stop listening to this. It's so nice, so nice, so nice.

Nobody feels any pain
Tonight as I stand inside the rain
Ev'rybody knows
That Baby's got new clothes
But lately I see her ribbons and her bows
Have fallen from her curls.
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

Queen Mary, she's my friend
Yes, I believe I'll go see her again
Nobody has to guess
That Baby can't be blessed
Till she sees finally that she's like all the rest
With her fog, her amphetamine and her pearls.
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

It was raining from the first
And I was dying there of thirst
So I came in here
And your long-time curse hurts
But what's worse
Is this pain in here
I can't stay in here
Ain't it clear that--

I just can't fit
Yes, I believe it's time for us to quit
When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don't let on that you knew me when
I was hungry and it was your world.
Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do
You make love just like a woman, yes, you do
Then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little girl.

-B.D. of course

Loony Tuned

Loony couldn't be happier. Loony got back home, and received the e-mail she had been waiting for forever. Loony is in seventh heaven, and curses her terrible memory. :-D

Loony treated her friends today with her hard earned money, but only to find out it wasn't enough. Greedy for Prawn Cocktails...thassit. But Loony promises to make up for it :-D

Loony loved the rest of the evening as well. RDB yet again, and this time it wasn't her, who was sniffing. *Nudgenudgewinkwink*.

Sudu, Sudu, Sudu, your mashi makes the most wonderful coffee, SKDB the most fantastic joints and Jimi Hendrix the most wonderful music. Life is gooood.

Preeta I shall pillar now. How's the ching-gum?

I like arrested development.
I like My Restraunt Rules.
I wanna go to Australia.
I wanna go to Bombay. And Delhi.
I wish it was May last year.
I miss my old home.
I miss my old life.
I realise I am miserable when I'm not studying, and not when I am.

There is a bastard I feel like beating up.
There is a friend I need to see, like, right now.
There is a stupid telephone that has all the wrong people calling.
There are people who don't deserve to be lonely.
There are people who are so smart and just don't know it.
There are people who are just other people.
There are people who are plain arrogant.
There are people who are just plain ignorant.
There are people who are arrogant and ignorant.
There are people who just don't want to see.
There are people who'll never know.

BookFair

Went to the bookfair... happy happy. Bought 3 books really cheap and jumped around in general. Preeta, poppin' buttons et al, also there. Paroj coughin'- pan chewing also there. Bad Kolkatans, we all are. Tired in 4 hours. But will go later with Ma. Hop skip buggy lift with Ranjit dahlink upto Park Street (aah my favourite place in Cal these days) and Golden Spoon as usual. Wicked waiter man waiting for 20 Rs tip (you wish). But we gave ten. Generous in general. Preeta wanted cosmo and wished she could shock propah communist bhadroloks and bhodromohilas with Sush's silicon babies. But I don't think it happened, and in any case, too busy discussing the proper pronounciation of Louis Vuitton to notice anybody noticing us.
And what. Heavily panned for stupid writing by the late fantastical. But thassokay really. Umm...went to college to give Bertie answer...and found him just about to fag and talking on the phone. Dismissive and indifferent as ever... me as vague as ever. Made up with Marlborough, but only temporarily. Oh, it felt sooo good.
Yeah. I described my day. Now giwe? Anything-something, giwe?

When your own laziness starts pissing you off, you've got issues. When you're crabby, and don't even wanna be crabby, it's not a good sign usually. When you're laughing one minute and then brooding the next, it's just madness. When you are reckless...well, I'm always reckless.

Study leave, PMS, need-a-puff, need-a-drink...whatever it is, its driving me nuts.

Oh wait. I'm suddenly happy.

Would you kill me, if I called it a chick flick? Hehe. No, no. I loved, I loved, I loved...despite the ending! Kunal Kapoor....can someone hand me the hot chocolate sauce? PLEASE!

Don't stop me now....

Preeetty, preeetty gurl. Preeetty, preeetty boy. Oh Vell, vell?
Galo galo, pore galo! Oh, ma, how small! She's what... 80? She played badminton 2 years ago and was blown off by the wind. Self admittedely. Painter, Indonesian, dancer, dreamer.
Sleep? Ki ghuum, ki ghuum. Nijhum. Whatta dream..helicopter, helipads, conspiracy, ignore-korli(?), boye gache(!), eii sorry, sorry, sooo sorry!
HALLO...ektu dhoro. Flirt, wife-beater, teacher-teacher.
Crap. Report card. Tyger tyger burning bright.
Rude. Dude. Occult? Shut up. Rude. Rude. So rude.
Napolean complex. Bhuk. Okbye. Lemon tart?
Goldfish? Marley? Bob, tui Marley? Ha, Ami Reggea.
Bookfair. Brishti. Poetry. Debacle. Huggable, Kissable, Lovable, Unnnnbelievable.
Tata-tata. Partner in crime. Don't die. Don't die.
Kothaye tui? Call me. Ki wicked ami. Interview with the Vampire. What utter lies.
Case Gublet? Na phoos! Radio mirchi...98.3 Fm.
Farenheit. Parfum. Sweden. Freedom. Neglect. Divorce.

Stream of consciousness is very selfish, na?

Guess Who's Coming to Town?

Yay! Boi Mala asche! So, book lovers, any recommendations? I really need something good to read. Very low attention span these days. And where can you get them really cheap? Last year, I found these French books, translated into English at the Rupa bookstall, and they were really really good... Blues for a Black Cat for one. Quirkiest thing ever. So gimme a crazy list. (oh and am I abnormal? I still haven't been able to finish Love in the Time of Cholera and Catch 22!)

Aaah...so bored. Wanna travel like crazy. Kathmandu or some place. Or Bhutan again.

Oh I made this arty. Bids, dekhchish?

I want to work for Nat Geo. Or Discovery. Or Lonely Planet. Nao na amaye, pleeease?

Jargon-isms

Hey don't you think Raja Sen is barrel full of fun? Sure, he's a smartass. But I guess you need to be a little. Anil Grover's been trying the zany criticism thingie, but he just ends up sounding a little doped. Remember the Mangal Pandey review? Anyway, this is really I have-nothing-to-do-I-read-rediff-reviews kinda post...and more.
I downloaded some Wonder Years episodes today. I think my comp is a little over-heated. Uff, this coffee I'm having has way too much chini. Oh and Tanaji, Sudu and Preeta....get over the WTMI thing, please. It's like the bitchiest, meanest thing ever...and totally reminds me of school. Besides, it's not like you made it up...oh oh..I feel like cracking a very stupid joke. Lemme Lemme..."Be original, kill piracy!" :-D
Here's a list of things you guys say...(and a lot)...[and I do too]...{sometimes}
WTMI
Boast Korish na
Time to let go
Who asked for your opnion?
Hey Shorty!
Don't lie
Let us the...(usually "go")
It is the just the
Thanda Coldrinks (oh but this me like so much)
Saaay something (Sudu, but of course)
Shonnn na (Preeta, obviously)
Aaaa? (Tanaji 6)
Tanaji ghumosh na (three of us)
Eii...classta korbi?
Okbye (eta Classic)

Okbye

No Surprises and Takeshi Chi

I'm suddenly obsessed with Japanese paintings

And Radiohead

Us and Them?

No, no, not the debacle that was apparently a play. Not the song. Just something my friend The Absolutist said. I saw a lot of "thems" today. You called me one too...but G dear, I'd NEVER talk about a robot's genitals. Uh uh. Not even with a lilac coloured gun to my head.
But I liked Chandelier and Muse. Really, really.

P & S, are you working on what you are supposed to be working on? Oh-ho, Sudu, not porashuno. By the way, you on the AA way? Baboushka you say?

Gah. I've put on so much weight. I have to stop having dehydrated soup.

Dee, 7th Dec. Yay :) !!!!

How can someone make me feel ugly and beautiful, smart and stupid at the same time? It's like Macbeth, only nothing like it.
Wasn't Seymour's "dead cat" comment the most wonderful one?

It's that time of the year again

Doesn't the face say it all?

Deep Throat?

Oh today was so funny, I juss havta say.
After college, I went to Tina's place, and we decided to watch deep throat(!!)...an' I was all na na na...I'm scared of d***s an' all....and she was like...na na na lets....so we started seeing it. An' then, the thing is, her VCR needs to be head-cleaned every two minutes, so we had to put in this head-cleaning video, which had Sound of Music in it...so we kept shuttling between nuns and porn, and it was soooo funny!
Then, her mashi, unexpectedly came, and we had to shut it off (cause its in the living room and everything), but then Mashi went to another room. So we started seeing it again, and jusssst when it got gross, IN came Mashi again, and we switched to Sound of Music! And then she was like...Sound of Music na? Ki bhaloo.
So when she left for the other room again, we put on Deep throat again, but this time I was seriously grossed and nervous, so we just shut it off...
WTMI I know...but it was just sooo funny.

And I had very nice brownie :)
And a cool chat :)
Oh Kanti came to college and lent Mad Magazine to me. I will read now. In case you read this, chool kete bhalo lagche.
Okbye.

Controversy yay!

Hey, there's controversy in blogworld! It's like ctta de ja vu! Only this time, I have nothing to do with it :)
Oh and I won't feel sorry for anyone, because everyone enjoys it :)
Oh and if they don't, thassokay too.
Oh and another thing...it won't last...*sigh*
And yes, I'm really not as bitchy as I used to be (stop laughing, isstrue).

Tomorrow is the third year farewell party (*sniff* bye bye gems-yum...no more letching)
Me maketh musique and eateth fried rice and "chicken chilli" (as Dechen put it )

Arre, I wanna see Matador. Does anyone have?

Today was so stupid. College lasted for just half an hour. And then it took one whole hour to come back. Such a waste of time and money na, chtzz.

I watched cricket today and felt like whacking a ball.

I just wish I had not behaved so moronically with a person 2, no 3 years ago. I wish I could tell him that, I had issues beyond my command, and well, I still do. Sorry if I seemed weird. And sorry for standing you up... again :( But then you had issues too, so dunnmatter.

I need new mobile phone cover.
Okbye.

Bloody hell. I'm just pushing my luck now. I am reckless, stupid and on a roll.

While my guitar gently weeps

Last night I got lost in an unknown city

And slept in a bed that reminded me of a friend's poem.

I lay there thinking of the muscian in the rain

And lit myself a cigarette, forgetting all promises

I tried to banish all the guilty thoughts...

...in vain, and thought of someone.

Today is Friday the 13th and somehow also my grandfather's baatshorik. We do this pujo thing every year at this mondir, and today, right after the pujo this cow came up to us and I dunno...tried to communicate or something. It was like the sweetest thing ever. Then, when we were leaving, it kept looking and looking till we were finally gone. I swear it must've been him. It didn't moo or anything. Just kotha theke chole ashlo. Ki nice way of sayng hi na?

How's that for a confession?

Test Junkie

Srinanda's blog (I always call her that somehow...not "Srin"), has triggered off the test-taker in me. I'm an optional test junkie. I'm a personality test junkie. I'll take the same tests I took before, and hope for a different answer, even if I was perfectly satisfied with the last one. Lesse, in the last few minutes I found out that I have a phlegmatic personality(I don't think I'm an overly dependent sort? But that's just one part of it), I am a playful kisser, I'm a jealous ex (OMG! Nooo!), I should get a Masters in Fine Arts, My strip song is some Depeche Mode song I haven't heard (but I know it's "you can keep your hat on"), my inner blood type is B ( I AM B), my Hawaiian name is Keilana Laka aaand a whole lotta other shitty things....I feel good. Ektu sleepy, but good. Oh and somehow, I've lost interest in reading my horoscope. I was crazy about that...but akhon I just skip lines. Aaj school friends came over and we were such godawful bitches to others and each other it's not even funny. I mean it was..but you know, kii stupid. Hehe. Oh I saw an enormous amount of Remington Steele today. Damn it, I love that man.

Chapter XX

Its funny. How we're all connected. And refuse to admit it. I know someone. Someone knows me. I don't talk to her, because I'm sure she wouldn't recognize me. She doesn't talk to me, because, maybe she really forgot who I am. Or was. We met a long time ago. When I still dreamed of things in a straight forward manner. I'd dream it. I'd do it. And embarrass myself over and over again, before I stopped for good. She drew a picture of herself for me in a little book. "Don't ever forget the way I look". I didn't. I was 15. Or 16. She was probably 13 or something. Heh. She forgot me.
So much happens in 5 years.
I wonder how I made friends sometimes. Or how I still manage to make them. I wonder sometimes whether I'm just fooling myself. It's very very hard to say, when exactly it was, that I lost it all.
Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and go back to the verandah where I stood under drying clothes and felt the sunlight in my eyelashes and saw hexagonal rainbows. Or made people laugh for real. Or felt honestly good. Just sometimes... otherwise...issokay. Let's get on with the act, shall we?

It's so nice to tune out people. I feel great cause I've developed the hide of a rhino. Temporarily maybe. And for several imaginary reasons. But this is like drug. Aah. Ki nice.

Look what happened with the crayons. I did this and wrote a story and almost wrote an answer for Bertie's paper. But I realised I missed a couple of his notes. So that didn't happen. Anyway, constructive day. I even slept a lot. This looks better on paper though. I just adore pastels. Even if you create crap it looks nice. Which is pretty much what this is, but anyway.

I feel bored. I tried to take pictures of myself, and make them black and white and cool, but my camera conked and I am mad. Someone whom I don't know is coming over for dinner tonight, and he only likes fish, and I don't. And I have to clean my room for him. Life is not fair. I like The Magic Numbers. And Jack Johnson and Ben Harper. I wore ear-rings today. I am very happy with my gel wax fish bowl. And Delhi bag. Thanks Dee and Porjo. I love playing with the blue wax. I hope I don't spoil it. I felt liberated sitting in the front seat of the auto today. I love the bumpity bump bump thing and the wind in my face. I really wanted to have bharer cha today. I'm out of sync. I didn't like OC much. I sat in the first row in Madhuja's class. There were no more places left. I doodled freely though. I feel stupid and contagious. I planning to use the word Nirvana in my "Tyger" answer. I want to listen to this song... but I don't know what it's called. I think its by Travis. It's got these gypsy women. And some room these two guys are looking for. Room 99 or 66 or something. Does anyone know?
Oh and I've been listening to Have you ever seen the rain and getting nostalgic about 2005. You know Hip Pocket and happy hours.

Wanderlust

Dhur na. It's all over. Bye bye few days of bliss. Have to drag jet lagged body to college tomorrow. I just realised I went to 3, no wait 4, countries in one year. I'm still thirsting for more. Boddo boast korchi, jani. But vat to dos? Travel is the only thing I love passionately. And I'll travel all I can, before my knees give in and I'm too obese to fit into one seat and before I'm rattling my begging bowl.

Fuck fuck fuck. Saw Munich. Oh shit shit shit. It's 3 am. I have to go to Universal today(yay!). I just came back from the movie. Man man man. You have to see it. You might hate it or love it. But see see see. Eric Bana, me like. Daniel Craig or Bana as Bond? See film and decide! Spielberg I forgive you for War of The Worlds. Like you need it. But in my fancy little imaginary world, you do.

Happy *hic* New Year *hic*

I wish. But no. Not hiccing drunk, I wasn't. But high yes.
I saw the mooooost wonderful fireworks at St. Petersberg Pier, which went on for like 10 whole minutes or something. You know, the kind you see in CNN and all. Very cool.
Then we went to this bar called REEF, where we met up with two of Kat's friends - Bevin and James. I got away with my fake 1984 ID there, but the man didn't believe me for a second. But he called me angel, and I flirted a bit, and well...I got 2 yeager (is that how you spell it?) shots, which tastes like sweet martini ektu, and a screwdriver. Then we drove (as in the Designated drove, my bro unfortunately!) to this chick called Meliah's party...whom I dunno from Adams. By the time we got there, 2ish, everyone was so wasted, it didn't matter. Lots of hugging and "oooh all the way from India?!" went around, and some beer as well. Bunch of highschool kids anyway. Oh but there was this very very hot guy...you know those CK model types? I'm a jerk but really cute types? And well, when we met, he like held my hand and wouldn't let go for a long time. Poor drunk bastard. But shit, uber hot and ready-to-flirt. But I hung out more with Bevin and James, 'cause Bevin and I turned out to be really alike...you know unassuming bitch types. And we bitched and laughed and I taught her bangla galagali. Then we came back home and I hit the sack.
Oh and I got kissed. By an old white haired horny drunk guy. On the cheek. Fortunately.

Anyway, doesn't matter what I did. To be honest, I missed my folks at home a bit, but it was cool with Shek (that's what he's called here!) as well. Hope you guys had a wonderful New Year. I hope we'll all give up smoking (yes we will) and drinking (no we won't) and work hard and have fun at the same time (?).