Chapter XX

Its funny. How we're all connected. And refuse to admit it. I know someone. Someone knows me. I don't talk to her, because I'm sure she wouldn't recognize me. She doesn't talk to me, because, maybe she really forgot who I am. Or was. We met a long time ago. When I still dreamed of things in a straight forward manner. I'd dream it. I'd do it. And embarrass myself over and over again, before I stopped for good. She drew a picture of herself for me in a little book. "Don't ever forget the way I look". I didn't. I was 15. Or 16. She was probably 13 or something. Heh. She forgot me.
So much happens in 5 years.
I wonder how I made friends sometimes. Or how I still manage to make them. I wonder sometimes whether I'm just fooling myself. It's very very hard to say, when exactly it was, that I lost it all.
Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and go back to the verandah where I stood under drying clothes and felt the sunlight in my eyelashes and saw hexagonal rainbows. Or made people laugh for real. Or felt honestly good. Just sometimes... otherwise...issokay. Let's get on with the act, shall we?