Men, so what about 'em?

This post is heavily inspired by last night's conversation with Dee (ok, make that all conversations) and Sudu's pretty boy post.
Dee and I were essentially discussing types. And the kinds we like. And I was quite surprised at what I really really like. For our convenience, we divided men into two categories. Fuckable, and non-fuckable. And not that it'll go anywhere, but it's a simple, easy-to-get category, so.
Let's start with the non-fuckable types. They are, not necessarily fuck-wittage, but y'know, they're just not do-able or off-limits. They would contain,

1. Bhai types - I mean, they're really sweet and everything, but when it comes to hormone shattering chemistry...naah...it just doesn't work
2. Friend's boyfriends - umm, yes, I think so, definitely
3. Jethu-types - the kind who offers to buy you drinks at SPE... will not go into details, just to be nice
4. Dough-boys - I mean they're okay for a hug, but hey, men were never nice to fat girls, so why should women be nice to fat boys? But my category of dough boys are just not fat men, they are like my neighbour Sanjay. They breathe heavily, sweat a lot, have breasts, eat slobbily and you get the picture. Sanjay watches TV in his underwear and keeps the front door open while he's at it. If you are lucky, you might even see him in a transparent gamcha. *shudder*.
5. Databases/bokbokers - Shut up and get a life. I hate to be rude, but I hate useless trivia, especially if people are seriously expecting you to listen. And I don't care about your latest Motorazor or whatever and I don't care if you know about Bertol Brecht. Congratulations and all, I would talk, but there are men to screw.
6. Shtuuuud types - They really do exist. Not just in American teen flicks, but here. I swear, I've seen them, they're here as well. Eeks. I mean, what IS with shades in the ondhokar? Go do some porashuno or something.
7. Jerks - You maybe hot, but if you kick the rastar kukur or shout at waiters or pick on smaller people, you can go screw yourself.

Ok...it's a longer list, but I'll keep it at that. Let's look at some Posssitivityyy.

1. Sporty types - And I cannot stress this enough, they are absolutely on top of my fuckable list. I love men who play sports. And since the focus here is more on the physical, I'll tell you how I like them the best. Footie. Nothing beats footie. Unless it's shirtless footie. This dude I've known for two years in class, becomes so so so hot like in nano seconds because he takes off his shirt to play football. I mean, why the fuck did he wear a shirt all these days man! He's just so much more likeable without his shirt and in lazy boy shorts running after a dirty ball. He's essentially stupid, but *kachingggg*, play footie and score. Dough boys not counted, I hope you get. Lean, mean and focused.
2. Chandler Bing types - Ok, so humour is your self defence, but thank god for it. Men who are constantly making other people laugh are a little dented somewhere, and dents are good. Brings out the Florence in me.
3. Jughead types - You want him? Well you can't get him. It's nothing too personal, but he just doesn't like you much. Why not? Well, he just doesn't. But why? Oh just. No, but why? What did I do? Oh don't think about it. But I can't help it! Why doesn't he LIKE ME? What is it that he doesn't like? I'll make him like me. Just you wait, I'll MAKE him. Hehe. Laid back, disinterested types are essentially bastards, but shit, you havta know WHY.
4. Cassanovas - Only never admit it to anybody else. He's full of shit, but shit shit shit, tell me also no, all those nice nice things. Hee. And then I will bitch about you. But mindfuck you at the same time.
5. Men in Uniform - ok, not Kolkata Police, with all due respect, I'm sure you'll understand. Army, navy types. Hot na?

Well, thassit for now. I'm surprised that the Arty type never featured even once, in either list. But overdose. Let's not even talk about them.