Okay. I have just got to stop deleting posts. Actually, I have to stop writing crappy ones. I dunno. I'm just a little confused and angry. So don't mind me.
I'm looking for the right song to listen to as I type this, because that'll determine a lot of it. I decided on Mardy Bum, because I kept listening to it over and over again on the Volvo bus on my way back from Pune to Bombay. I dunno why I write 'Pune', because I always say 'Poona'. Anyway, that's where I'm going come 7th and am going to stay there for a bit, so goodbye and all that. Distance never has anything to do with keeping in touch. Either you keep in touch, or you don't. Simple as that.
I had a pretty cool day today, considering I hate shopping and everything. Especially in the heat. But I had good company and I really felt like hanging with P and G. So yeah, it was fun. I don't know what the fuck I bought, but yeah, it was cool.
There were just so many people I had to meet. There were so many things I needed to do. Then I thought. What. The. Fuck. I'm the one that's leaving. If you care, call. If you don't, don't. It doesn't change a thing. I wish I could spend tomorrow at some kind of spa, getting a pedicure and a massage - but I'll be busy fixing a broken tooth and visiting this doctorwoman who's amazed at how much weight I put on everytime I visit. Shit happens.
I also wish I could spend time at home, bumming around in my shorts, FINALLY watching 'The Departed' cd which I bought today with my clothes money, but nooo. Man, I dunno. I loved those movie afternoons. When I used to come home early from those extra classes, had the entire noon to roll a joint and watch cool movies. Then the bell would ring, and the house would not be empty anymore, and the smoke fumes would more or less disappear. Ennui, but it was all good. I liked feeling that way. Unhurried, unoccupied and comfortably numb. All this is vaguely disturbing. I hate being rushed.
I love Cal, I truly do. It was a good 21 years. It'll never be the same, but in the words of the great Man, "duh". Well obviously.
I can't do a Wonder Years thing. Yeah, it was great. And I have no fucking idea what comes next.
Signing off from Cal,
Loony.