I'm reading English August. I quite like it. It's my kind of book. Sometimes I wish I could be like that. Lie. Just. You know, cause I want to.
What's your name?
Angie.
Angie what?
Angie Ray.
That's a strange name.
That's because my mother is half-American and half Mick Jagger and my father is half-Mick Jagger and half Satyajit. Also David Bowie.

You know like that. Or not. I don't know. Today I paid attention in the Keats class for a change. I love Keats. I kept reading and re-reading the 3rd stanza of Nightingale.

Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
What thou among the leaves hast never known,
The weariness, the fever, and the fret
Here, where men sit and hear each other groan;
Where palsy shakes a few, sad, last grey hairs,
Where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;
Where but to think is to be full of sorrow
And leaden-eyed despairs;
Where beauty cannot keep her lustrous eyes,
Or new Love pine at them beyond to-morrow.

I keep thinking I'm above angsty poetry. But not when it's like this. Because it's so true. It's like when you suddenly get an electric shock. And you're forced to react. Today I was taking a walk and I was talking to this mutt. I always talk to dogs. And this white dog followed me along. And then suddenly it started to sneeze and looked a little wild. And I stopped being friendly and became a bhitu and said look, look, I have no food, so go away. And it was so stupid, and even the dog knew I was being unreasonable as hell. But I just scurried away, and it looked at me, with a what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you-woman eyes and walked away, a little disgusted by my sudden change of attitude. Dogs and babies can always see through you. And this mutt knew immediately that I was a phoney. I got scared of it's sneeze. Jeez. But then again I was savagely attacked by a dog when I was four. And sub-consciously perhaps I'm terrified of them. But then I always thought I was over it. And most dogs and I have gotten along well since then. And I like them. They like me back. I guess, I was just scared of being rejected by a dog as well. I don't know. This is a weird post. But then again blog has bipolar. So who cares who cares who cares?